Weekly Rant!

16 Jan

 

Man, do I have some shit to get off my chest today…

 

First and foremost, I’d like to give a big FUCK YOU to this old ass woman that yelled at me to slow down the other day while I was driving. The speed limit on our street is 25 MPH and I was going, AT THE MOST, 27 MPH. She was walking her dog and didn’t even see me coming. She just turned her head my way while I was driving passed and decided to scream slow down, like I’m fuckin’ Mario Andretti ‘in it out here. I wanted to stop and say something, but she’s most likely old and miserable. But I got something to say NOW, motherfucker! Fuck you, you angry ass jerk, and your little dog too!

Moving on…

My second FUCK YOU, goes out to Noxzema. Yeah, the entire company, for raising the price of my anti-blemish alcohol pads that I’ve been using on my face since the ripe young age of 16! Like, who do you think you are to just raise prices like that? Don’t you bitches know that I’m most likely the only one using those things? Get real!

Third and biggest FUCK YOU, goes out to cancer. For the sole purpose that you continually make your presents known in my family. I want you to go away because no one likes your bitch ass!

Fourthly, many FUCK YOU‘s must be given to all the Raven’s fans and all the people who didn’t matter that wanted the Ravens to win yesterday. And when I say the “people who don’t matter” I mean the people whose team didn’t even make it to the playoffs yet they wanted to put in their 2 cents and hatred toward the Steelers. With 6 super bowl rings comes haters, we are used to it by now.

A major FUCK YOU to the United States Postal Service for saying that your office closes at 4pm on Saturdays and when I got there at 3:32pm yesterday, the doors were locked. I hate you.

 

And now I feel so much better! Hope everyone had a great weekend.

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