13 Apr

1. IF you found out for certain there is a Heaven and Hell, how would you change your life?
I guess I would start going to church more.. and stop being so mean to people ALL the time.. just sometimes.

2. IF you had to select the one thing in life you feel the most guilty about, what would it be?
I dont feel guilty about anything really.

3. IF I could rid the earth of one thing, what would it be?
Every kind of caner

4. IF you could have the power to hypnotize anyone for a day, who would you pick and what would you have them do?
I would hypnotize Oprah and have her gimme her show or hypnotize Bill Gates and make him gimme all his money 🙂

5. IF you had to name the one thing that most frightens you about growing old, what would it be?
Just being very uncomfortable as I get older, like health wise.

6. IF you had to constantly carry a weapon of some kind, what would it be?
Brass Knuckles 🙂

7. IF you had to name the one most important ingredient of human beauty, what would you say it is?
Eyes. I think people’s eyes can tell you a lot.

8.IF you could say (or have said) one thing to your father on his deathbed, what would it be?
Wow, this is a fucked up question…

9.IF you could have only one part of your body massaged every day, what part would you choose?
Definitely, my back

10.IF you were to choose the breed you would be if you were a dog, which type would best suit you?
Pitbull.. cuz I’m tough and strong as hell LOL… but not as ugly.. hmmm.

11. IF you had to name the one thing that repeatedly makes you angriest what would it be?

12. IF you were to be killed by an animal, what kind would you want it to be?
A snake? I think it might be like fast and wouldnt hurt so much.

13.IF you could change one thing about your face to make it more beautiful, what would you alter?
HA.. nothing, this face is the money maker… just joking.. I’d change all of it.. thank you.. next question…

14.IF you had to name the most beautiful bed you have ever occupied what would it be?
Grandma’s bed!!!

15. IF you could suddenly find out that one work of fiction was actually true, what book would you select?
Everyone would wanna say Twilight.. But FUCK that.. I would choose The Five People You Meet in Heaven.

16. IF you could train a pet bird to do one thing for you and always return home again, what would it do?
Go poke Tom Brady in the eye, and return home with the eye ball still in its beak.

17. IF you could have won a single thing you tried for in your lifetime but didn’t win, what would it be?
OMG.. the fucking spelling bee in 4th grade. It scarred me for life! Im such an idiot.

18.IF you could have known someone as a child that you now know, who would it be?
Mandible Buccinator!!!

19. IF you had to name the worst song to wake up to in the morning, what would it be?
Master P – Make Em Say Uhh.. first of all the song scares me and secondly, it sounds like an Ex-Lax commercial :-

20.IF just one aspect of your life functioned perfectly forevermore, what would you pick?
Relationships please

21.IF you were to have 2 new baby daughters, what would you name them?
Fern and Margie… blah, I dunno

22.IF you had to eliminate one emotion from your life, which would it be?

23.IF you suddenly found yourself at work, wearing women’s erotic underwear and nothing else, what would you say (in one sentence) to your fellow workers?
“I Know this isn’t a pleasant sight, and i apologize.”

24.IF you were to pick the one thing that always makes you smile, what would it be?

25.IF you were to have two new baby sons, what would you name them?
Bartholomeu and Cardio… I dont like baby names, sheesh

2 Responses to “IF…”

  1. Tommy April 13, 2009 at 5:27 pm #

    name your son Francis for my sake geez

  2. Gee-Nah Muh-Ree April 17, 2009 at 6:11 pm #

    I did this .. Uhrm yeah ur kid names are so weird lol

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