Archive | June, 2008

So This is Love?

18 Jun

Well this is just going to be a short blog cuz Im on my way to bed but wow. I cant tell you how incredible I feel right now in my life. All because of one man. He amazes me everyday. I talk to him more than I talk to anyone. Im not saying Im in love. Im young and I’ve definitely never been in love before so Im not too sure how it feels but Im sure it feels something like this. Its crazy how one person can make you feel so good and excited and give you butterflies just from like a phone call. If he’s having a bad day it puts me in a bad mood only because I know he’s not 100% happy. But when he’s in a good mood I’m extatic. One person has the ability to change the way I feel just by telling me how they’re day is going. It’s incredible. I put so much effort and time into him that I cant see it not working out. I’m going to try my hardest to keep it up. I was always the girl in high school that made a joke out of relationships or made fun of my friends for having a boyfriend/girlfriend that they “loved”. But Im completely opposite now. He’s changed me for the better and Im finally opening my eyes and realizing that I can let someone else in and hopefully someday soon be able to love someone else….But alright, thats all for tonite. I hope if any love birds read this you’ll leave me a comment and let me know your story cuz right now Im feeling like jello and weak at the knees…Is this normal? LOL..Oh Lord, please dont let this be lust or indigestion!

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California State of Mind…

17 Jun

Well….67 days till I make the big move to the west coast. Who knows what its going to be like for me out there. I wont know anyone, and I dont even know if I’ll be able to find a job but Im just picking up and moving. It doesnt make much sense, but I crave change. I hate sitting still and I like adventure. If things dont work out, I’ll come back home to good ol’ Pittsburgh. But the thought of not seeing my family for a long time scares me. I’m the oldest child, and as much as me and my parents dont get along I know they’ll miss me. I have 2 younger sisters. Whose going to guide them through junior high and high school? Whose clothes will they steal? Not mine of course. Its sad to think about them growing up and me missing it, but I guess I need to learn to grow up as well. I need to learn to be more independent and not be so dependent on my parents to do things for me. So I think this will end up being a good thing. I might even really enjoy it out there. I’ll also be leaving a very amazing man on the east coast. He means sooo much to me but he knows that I kinda just need to see whats out there and I know nothing will change what we have. He’ll be there for me just like I would be there for him. Distance will not break us and we’ll find some way to make it work, we have to.

But other than all that California news I’ve just been working everyday and trying to save up as much money as possible for Cali. I swear money burns a hole in my pocket but I’m trying and doing my best… Im also trying to spend as much time with friends as possible. Its going to be so sad, I really dont know what I’m going to do… But work…is really sucky. I’m doing filing and its like a nightmare that doesnt end. I’m getting paid well but sometimes I still feel like its not worth it. But we’ll see….Well I’ll be writing more soon, but if anyone wants to give me any information on Cali or any thoughts I would love to hear them 🙂